• 800g of room-temperature Greek yogurt (because who needs cold yogurt when you're making a cake?)
  • 1 cup of sugar (to make sure you don't accidentally make a salad instead of dessert)
  • 4 room-temperature eggs (because cold eggs are for losers)
  • 60g of vanilla pudding powder (because plain pudding is just too boring)
  • 120ml of vegetable oil (because butter is so last year)
  • 100g of cookies (because no dessert is complete without some crushed up cookies)


  • 200g of white sugar (because brown sugar is too mainstream)
  • 85g of cold butter chunks (because melted butter is too easy)
  • 120ml of heavy cream (because light cream is for quitters)
  • 3/4 teaspoon of salt (because what's dessert without a little bit of salt?)

For decoration:

  • Caramel-flavored marshmallows (because regular marshmallows are too basic)

To make the caramel, you need to heat up the sugar in a pot without stirring it (because apparently sugar is very delicate and needs to be treated with care). Once it's melted, you add the butter and mix vigorously for 2 minutes (because we don't have all day). Then you add the cream and mix again (because why not?). Finally, you add some salt (because dessert should be a little bit salty, like your ex) and pour the caramel into a jar. Chill it in the fridge until it thickens (or for up to 2 weeks if you accidentally make too much).

To make the cheesecake, you separate the eggs (because they're like a dysfunctional couple that can't stay together). You mix the egg yolks with half a cup of sugar, yogurt, oil, and pudding powder (because that's how you make cheesecake, obviously). In a separate bowl, you whip the egg whites with the other half cup of sugar (because apparently, they need to be treated differently). You then gently fold the egg whites into the yogurt mixture (because they're like two long-lost lovers finally reunited). Pour the mixture onto a cookie crumb crust and bake it in the oven for 50-60 minutes (because waiting is the hardest part). Once it's done, let it cool in the oven (because it needs some alone time). Finally, pour some caramel on top (because why not?) and decorate with marshmallows (because life is too short to not have fun).

Enjoy your delicious (and slightly sarcastic) cheesecake!



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